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Transcription:Behind the Music: Electric Mayhem
NARRATOR: We now return to Behind the Music presents: Electric Mayhem. (Picture of Fozzie Bear, Kermit the Frog and the Electric Mayhem) NARRATOR: Times were good for Dr. Teeth and his Electric Mayhem. (Picture of Floyd Pepper and Zoot) NARRATOR: The band landed a steady gig with the Muppet Theater, and the pay was reliable. But the good times were not to last. (Picture of Kermit and the whole group) NARRATOR: After a five-year run, Electric Mayhem got the pink slip that would change their lives forever. (We cut to Dr. Teeth.) DR. TEETH: The Muppet Show was a good gig while it lasted. Got a lot o'tail with that kind of exposure. I even got to sleep with Josie of the Pussycats, back when that meant somethin'. (We cutaway to three men in suits, one man on the right is holding a chair, clearly intending to hit Kermit with it. whole sequence is a dramatization.) DR. TEETH: But Kermit just couldn't keep up with the rent on the theater, and well, the mob shut us down. (The man on the right hits Kermit with a chair is a man in a suit and breaks his knee. We cutaway to Electric Mayhem at a kids' party at Chunk O' Cheese) NARRATOR: With their steady paycheck suddenly gone, the band did what they could-- kids' parties... (We cut to Electric Mayhem at a bar mitzvah.) NARRATOR: ...bar mitzvahs... (And then, we cutaway to Dr. Teeth next to a girl that playing a wrong note on a piano.) NARRATOR: ...and even offering children piano lessons. DR. TEETH: Oh, holy shit! You make me wanna pee myself. That was terrible. (We see a black-and-white image of Janice and Tommy Lee.) NARRATOR: The band's woes weren't limited to financial trouble. (We cut to Janice and Howard Stern at the Howard Stern show.) HOWARD STERN: Come on. Tommy Lee's rich, good-looking. Couldn't have been that bad. JANICE: Like, he gave me hepatitis C. I only have five years to live. HOWARD STERN: Are you gonna show me those boobs? JANICE: Fuck you, Howard. I'm dying! (we cutaway to Electric Mayhem at Star Search.) NARRATOR: The band pinned their comeback hopes on their Star Search special. But no one could foresee the consequences for the band's most beloved member. ED McMAHON: Oh, ho, ho! Did ya see that? The drummer looks like an epileptic ragdoll. (Ed McMahon laughs, then Animal attacks him.) ED McMAHON: Get off me! Ha ha ho! Help! Where's Johnny? NARRATOR: After a long history of behavior problems... (We cut to Animal at the veterinarian's office.) NARRATOR: the on-air attack of Ed McMahon was the last straw. The courts ruled that the band's drummer, Animal, be put down. (The nurse injects Animal and he slowly Sleeping, the doctor stroking his head. Floyd Pepper comforts Janice, while a tear rolls down the nurse's cheek.) JANICE: Oh, no. Oh, no! (we cutaway to Floyd Pepper) FLOYD PEPPER: A reunion? Now? No, not happenin', brotha. Check it, my man. Animal's dead. And Zoot? I haven't seen Zoot in years. (Picture of Zoot being led away with two policemen behind him, in a Japanese newspaper.) FLOYD PEPPER: Not since he was picked up in Tokyo with 37 pounds of hash in his bag. (We cut Dr. Teeth, with Rowlf the Dog sitting next to him playing piano.) NARRATOR: Today, Electric Mayhem is no more. For these aged rockers, there are no regrets. DR. TEETH: Hey, that's life, man. It took me this long to realize that fame isn't what's important. It's good friends and good health. (Janice coughs; cuts to black) Category:Transcriptions